I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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