No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize