That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
