if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
