No stitches, just platelets and will power
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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