I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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