Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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