I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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