All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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