So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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