Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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