so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
