i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
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Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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