I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
