I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
