Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
