she kept yelling 'call me bella'
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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