with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
