well I can't set my house on fire every night
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
