If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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