sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
