wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
