my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
