ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Randomize
