Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
