Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
