I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i will never coherently bang her
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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