So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
