Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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