This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I think I just sharted jello shots
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