I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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