Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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