"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
