The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
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You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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