Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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