I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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