There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i came on her dog
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
