we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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