ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
