remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
