can we get nightvision for the apartment?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
