She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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