I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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