Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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