I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
we should paint friendship bongs
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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