1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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