My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
