question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
