I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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