this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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