Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
