Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
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I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
i think i just lost a toe
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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