I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
