I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
