i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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