You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
