Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
