Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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