your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
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Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night