if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
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You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
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I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.