Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
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I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
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You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess