Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
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Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
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MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.