Texts From Last Night

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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...

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  (910): Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table... http://tfl.nu/b55w
  Replies (6) Good night (3609) Bad night (746)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway

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  (727): what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway http://tfl.nu/b3sf
  Replies (23) Good night (2282) Bad night (6997)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college

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  (541): for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college http://tfl.nu/6h6z
  Replies (30) Good night (8849) Bad night (579)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.

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  (641): Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that. http://tfl.nu/il0g
  Replies (15) Good night (4095) Bad night (943)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?

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  (317): What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy? http://tfl.nu/iupy
  Replies (20) Good night (1332) Bad night (3361)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  You tried to poop in the sink last night.

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  (856): You tried to poop in the sink last night. http://tfl.nu/6e7d
  Replies (18) Good night (1275) Bad night (4273)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.

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  (330): Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like. http://tfl.nu/uplz
  Replies (5) Good night (3500) Bad night (886)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.

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  (419): is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately. http://tfl.nu/bi26
  Replies (3) Good night (2528) Bad night (694)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"

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  (206): it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting" http://tfl.nu/ix3k
  Replies (8) Good night (3133) Bad night (1034)
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  (585): View more from New York

  i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold

  (1-585): View more from New York

  hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?

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  (585): i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold (1-585): hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce? http://tfl.nu/cepl
  Replies (4) Good night (2967) Bad night (609)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.

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  (504): All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup. http://tfl.nu/pyk9
  Replies (3) Good night (1635) Bad night (1015)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?

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  (406): Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom? http://tfl.nu/1vyx
  Replies (10) Good night (583) Bad night (2316)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.

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  (406): Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan. http://tfl.nu/6agv
  Replies (2) Good night (448) Bad night (302)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"

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  (314): She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!" http://tfl.nu/o6vj
  Replies (3) Good night (913) Bad night (233)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.

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  (781): Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all. http://tfl.nu/k6ec
  Replies (1) Good night (441) Bad night (192)

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