Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(217): View more from Illinois

That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.

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(951): View more from California

As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it

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(908): View more from New Jersey

just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?

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(407): View more from Florida

I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(094): View more from

After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.

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(+61): View more from Australia

Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.

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(217): View more from Illinois

Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

sidebar: i fucked your brother last night

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(702): View more from Nevada

So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.

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