it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting