Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance

  (1-586): View more from Michigan

  Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer

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  (586): But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance (1-586): Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer http://tfl.nu/kou5
  Replies (1) Good night (1091) Bad night (737)
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  (408): View more from California

  Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people

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  (408): Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people http://tfl.nu/thju
  Replies (12) Good night (4214) Bad night (522)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth

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  (919): I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth http://tfl.nu/uiea
  Replies (4) Good night (556) Bad night (2921)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?

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  (254): Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way? http://tfl.nu/etox
  Replies (24) Good night (5087) Bad night (936)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"

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  (978): Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?" http://tfl.nu/0wwp
  Replies (20) Good night (6882) Bad night (1013)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.

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  (804): They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas. http://tfl.nu/dkws
  Replies (4) Good night (3036) Bad night (727)
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  (845): View more from New York

  you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes

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  (845): you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes http://tfl.nu/5rry
  Replies (5) Good night (3355) Bad night (883)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.

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  (859): In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing. http://tfl.nu/n1s5
  Replies (4) Good night (3094) Bad night (598)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.

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  (540): Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms. http://tfl.nu/tg48
  Replies (16) Good night (3369) Bad night (639)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah, that was you

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  (215): Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick? (215): Yeah, that was you http://tfl.nu/rydz
  Replies (7) Good night (2847) Bad night (833)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.

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  (801): There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume. http://tfl.nu/bk3r
  Replies (7) Good night (1381) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.

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  (425): Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her. http://tfl.nu/tvge
  Replies (1) Good night (546) Bad night (1021)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right

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  (610): I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right http://tfl.nu/fw6i
  Replies (2) Good night (505) Bad night (595)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.

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  (732): My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places. http://tfl.nu/xqpe
  Replies (0) Good night (432) Bad night (256)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.

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  (201): i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that. http://tfl.nu/04j5
  Replies (2) Good night (586) Bad night (219)

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