so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?