meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
